Television is rather a frightening business. But I get all the relaxation I want from my collection of model soldiers.
Peter Cushing

Sunday 25 December 2016

Merry Gaming Loot Day

Also known as Christmas. I hope you all got what you wanted.

As for what I got?

Yeah, who didn't see that coming?

Saturday 24 December 2016

The Fellowship of the Ring

Sans the annoying hobbits. I can't be the only one who skips all Frodo and Sam stuff in both the films and the books, surely?

Anyway, these are the only members of the Fellowship I'm really interested in so I made a concerted effort to get them all finished, given a kick up the backside by the previously mentioned 15th anniversary.

The last one to be done was Boromir:

I'm actually rather proud of these. I treated them like historical miniatures, using picture references and colour matching and I took a little extra time over glazes and layers. I think the extra effort shows - although I must admit to being helped enormously by the quality of the sculpts. As always the Perry Middle Earth stuff is lovely to work with.

And I'm obviously not the only one to think so...

This is definitely the last post before Christmas and the dawn of a new project so I will bid everyone a lovely holiday and I look forward to all the loot posts appearing on my feed.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Friday 23 December 2016

Fell Wargs

As regular readers of my dispatches from the front line of gaming ADHD will be aware, my Eldest son has developed something of an affinity with orcs. Specifically the Warg riders from The Lord of the Rings. As I mentioned in my previous post I picked up a box of warg riders from eBay last week. He immediately started hassling me to build them.

So here are the first three of the new batch along with the two originals.  A relatively quick paint job as they are likely to be played with quite hard.

I did however, now I've got the knack of it, string all their bows.

There's one more possible post before Christmas but otherwise have a lovely time.

Thursday 22 December 2016


I quite fancied having a crack at some of those explosion markers you see around. Cotton wool. An LED light. How hard can it be?

Actually, it turns out to be really easy.

I used cotton balls because I could sort of sculpt them into the shapes I wanted but I know people have got really good results from using teddy bear innards.

Now, I'm going to be talking about my balls a lot in this post so let's just accept that it's going to be a bit Frankie Howerd and move on.

So first off, grab your balls and your LED tealight.

Then smear glue around the rim of the tealight. I used the thickest PVA I had as I didn't want my balls to get soggy. I wanted them to be firm and pliable. 

Arrange your balls around the side of the tealight and tease them upwards and outwards slightly.

Then smear the flat top surface of the tealight with glue, and arrnage your balls on this surface. 

Next, dip your balls in some glue and gently place them around the actual 'flame'. Repeat the teasing action. 

Repeat this step until you are happy with the placement of your balls.

I ended up with this sort of shape:

Painting was fairly easy; the only advice I would offer would be SPRAY YOUR BALLS LIGHTLY.

I used a basic black spray, quick thick around the base and progressively lighter as I worked up the length. The trick here is that you want the light to be able to show through at the core:

You can then place it on tanks, buildings or other objectives. 

You can even find a use for them in fantasy games.

Let's be honest - who would you put your money on: a Sherman Tank or Sir Christopher Lee?

If I don't get another post out before the Holidays, have a great Christmas and I hope Santa empties his sack for you. 

Wednesday 21 December 2016

"Aye, I Could Do That."

"I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf."

"What about side by side with a friend?"

"...Aye. I could do that."

Who doesn't love Gimli and Legolas? In an attempt to clear the decks before the Christmas loot arrives, I'm trying to tidy up some loose ends this week. Part of this was finishing off my little mini-fellowship. 

It actually turned out to be quite hard to find photo references for Gimli in his Fellowship outfit without the Elven cloak so I had to watch a couple of clips and take a best guess. 

In other Middle Earth news, I built up painted the last set of the Ruins of Osgiliath:

As I said in my previous post you simply cannot beat that for £40. The three sets easily create a setting for a 4x4 skirmish. Throw in some scatter and vegetation and you're done.

I am currently trying to resist the temptation to buy the Laketown House. The multipack is a touch more expensive, but you don't half get some scenery for your money. 

 As a final bit of housekeeping I based up the Dragon - the building of which is detailed exhaustively here - but when it was done, I found that that with dragon being green and the base also being earth tones, it needed something to make it pop.

Enter the snow effect I looked at earlier. 

As sort of scatter terrain, it breaks up with the green enough to do the job. There's still something missing here so I thick I'm going to have to come back to this one again.

And finally, you may recall that my Eldest son has adopted two orc warg riders as his favourite toys. So, as it's the season of goodwill, I've been keeping an eye on ebay.

12 second hand warg riders + 1 four-year boy = happiness:

So I guess I have those to paint up before Christmas. 

Monday 19 December 2016

Fifteen Years

Blimey Charlie! It's been 15 years since Fellowship of the Ring was released in the cinema.

As a quick glance at the tag cloud at the side there will attest, a lot of my painting over the last few years has taken place in Middle Earth. So just to contribute to the festivites here's a few of my LoTR models.

Friday 16 December 2016

"I love the sound of crunching codpieces in the morning, Jim. Sounds like... Bloodbowl."

"Hello sports fans, and welcome to the second game of the season!"

"Yes Bob, and it's a very special game. This is a farewell testimonial to the old stadium which is being replaced with a brand new pitch on the 25th of this month."

"Exciting times, Jim, and we should just send a shout out to S Claws and Sons, the Dwarven engineers who are expected to deliver things on schedule."

"I'd not be so sure, Bob, that beast pulling his builder's van looked like it had a nasty cold. So who's playing tonight?"

"It's the Multiple Scoregasms, currently leading the League with their undefeated record. They're up against The Green Machine, a new team from somewhere under the World's Edge mountains."

"So the Scoregasms aren't likely to lose, are they, Bob?"

"Probably not, Jim; Goblins aren't the best players of the game. But the Scoregasms are going to have to watch out for those sneaky little bastards as they have a reputation for dirty play."

"And here we go for the kick off; it's the humans to receive."


"That's a fairly classic offense, there, Bob. The Scoregasms have gone with their usual cage tactic while sending a catcher wide incase they want to pull a switcheroo."

"Yes, Jim, and a cage is quite difficult for Goblins to deal with unless they can get the Troll over there... no they can't, the Troll is sitting down in midfield, picking his nose and eating the results. This looks like an easy score for the Humans-- BY NUFFLE'S SWEATY JOCKSTRAP, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT!"

"Yes, Jim, that's a bomb thrown by one of the Goblins which has taken down the entire cage as well as knocking the ball-carrier down."

"I can't imagine the Scoregasm's coach will be best pleased by that, Bob."

The Scoregams are headed upfield to try and recover the ball but The Green Machine have unleashed a fanatic with a ball and chain!"
"That's right, Bob - this is Thatcha, a well known proponent of destroying things without purpose or reason. And Thatcha has spun round - and smacked into the troll!

"The ball is back in play Jim, and the Green Machine are going to have to watch out for that Blitzer making a dash down the wide zone. We've seen the Scoregasms try this play before and it's been devastatingly effective."

"That's right, Bob; can the Goblins take him down?"

"Yes Jim, they can. It turns out a chainsaw to the rectum will knock down the hardiest of players."

"He's going to feel that in the morning, Bob."

"I reckon he's feeling it right now, Jim, especially as the little green bugger is trying to ram the chainsaw into his nards."

"It does the heart good to see so many kids in the stands today, Bob - they're seeing the Beautiful game the way it was meant to be played."

"Good grief, Jim - he's up and running again!"

"Running like a bow legged man trying to catch a pig in a passage, Bob, but still running. And the Humans are pressing again down the far wide zone."

The Goblins are laying waste to the teams here; Thatcha seems determined to take down the Troll like he's a dwarven miner's union! Jim, I simply can't see how the Scoregasms are going to get through this... Unless they go for a long pass!"

"There is goes, Bob, sailing down to the newly Soprano Blitzer in the end zone - but he's fumbled it! Oh my word, the ball is on the ground!"

"There's no way the Green Machine can get to it in time to stop the Touchdown though, so what are they going to do?"

"Well, Bob, in the best traditions of Bloodbowl they're going to try and kill as many of the opposition as they can before the end of the drive."

"I love the sound of crunching codpieces in the morning, Jim. Sounds like... Bloodbowl."

"And there it is, Bob - TOUCHDOWN!"

"That was significantly harder fought than I would have suspected, Jim. I see some activity with the Referee there... and yes, it looks like the Fanatic, Thatcha, the Bomma - Blare - and the Looney with the Chainsaw - Broon -  have both been sent off. A fair call, I think."

"Not so fast there, Bob; it looks like some money has changed hands and there's been a conversation about where the Referee lives, what a nice house it is and how it would be a shame if something burny happened to it... and yes, Broon is back on."

"The Green Machine are making a substitution and bringing on their man with the legs, Mayjah on the Pogo stick."

"he's bounced right over and scooped up that ball; the other members of the team have formed a cage round him - Bob, are the Goblins just going to pound down the centre field like they're orcs?"

"The Scoregasms might be worried about just that, Jim - they're pulling back to create a deep defensive line."

"Oh good Nuffle, they're swarming the Humans like scarab beetles up the loose pants of MC Hammer."

"Certainly can't touch this, Jim - it's going to be too sore. And they're stamping on his nadgers! Classic move!"

"But the Ref saw it and he's sending the offending player off. This is bad news for the Green Machine ebcause they can ill afford to lose any bribe money-- but wait! The coach, Sven Gorkan Erikson, is arguing the toss with the Referee -- and he's won! The ref reverses the decision and the player stays on."

"The Trolls have woken up now, Jim, and they're lumbering down the pitch. The Scoregasms have pulled right back to defend the end zone-"

"But Broon is carving through them like someone with a grudge against a turkey! The dugout is filling up rapidly

And the last few humans left up in midfield are not having a good time. What is Trump the Troll doing to that poor linesman, Jim?"

"Dancing the Macarena on his head, Bob."

"Music to my ears, Jim. And the Green Machine have smashed through the defensive line and there goes Mayjah Currymuncher, launching over the carnage and YES - that's a TOUCHDOWN for the Grrrreeeeeeen Machineeeeeeee!"

"Do you have money on them, Bob?"

"Well, that was a nail biting first half, Jim; who would have thought that the Goblins could do so much damage or even score?"

"Yes, Bob - but it's going to be touch and go if they can sustain that for the second half. They must be running short of bribe funds by now."

"And here we go with the second half. The humans are receiivng."

"They're wasting no time there, sending a Blitzer tearing down the wide zone -- some fancy footwork takes him past Belcher the Troll --"

"-- but over on the other side, Broon is carving that poor catcher a new one. Shouldn't happen to a growing lad, Jim."

"Violations of his private gentleman's area aside, Bob, the Scoregasms are goign for a long pass for a touchdown. One of the Goblins is going for an interception -- but he's missed by a mile!"

"And that's been caught neatly in the endzone by the Blitzer, Jim - making a very neat and professional touchdown for the human team."

"Hell of a play, Bob, hell of a play."

"The Green Machine are receiving now, and they've brought Mayjuh back up. He has to be the threat for the Scoregasms?"

"Yes Bob, it looks like the Scoregasms have learned their lesson and are keeping the defensive line forward. How can the Goblins get their best chance of scoring over all that?"

"Well, Jim - it looks like Trump is going to throw Mayjuh, ball and all. Oh, but it's a fumble! That poor Goblin is bouncing all over the pitch - and he's come to rest very close to the human line of scrimmage. Too close, do we think?"

"Much too close; they're on him, he's down, and-- oh my lord he's dead!"

"The crowd goes wild!"

The Green machine aren't going to stand for that. Broon is wading into the humans with all the dedication of a halfling alcoholic raiding a dwarven brewery. He's got them down, he's going for a foul -- he's been seen! The Ref has sent him off!"

"This just goes to prove that anger has no place in Bloodbowl, Jim. The violence should be carefully considered. Sickening brutality is only cheapened by anger."

"Well said, Bob."

  "The Scoregasms are picking the ball up and they're going to make a run for a touchdown of their own.."

"Belcher is there and he can stop them with one mighty blow-- but no, he's stopped to pick up something shiny."

"There's no-one to stop the humans from throwing that ball down to the waiting catcher--"

"Which they do - and it's a touchdown!"

"And at the end of the game, that's 2-1 to the Scoregasms who keep their unbeaten streak."

Well just look at the state of play there, Jim. There's barely any players left on the pitch!"

"That's how you know it was a good game, Bob."

"It was if you didn't have money riding on it, Jim."

****      ****

Another great game of Bloodbowl - although I seriously believe it's not possible to have any other kind. This game is a narrative creating machine; it's also a merciless mistress. What this write up doesn't capture is both of us screaming at the dice and howling with laughter when a single die roll sends everything down the pan. 

The Goblins were, as expected, great fun to play; absolutely insane. The next game will be on the new pitch and I will be fielding a new team - either Orcs or Skaven.