Television is rather a frightening business. But I get all the relaxation I want from my collection of model soldiers.
Peter Cushing

Wednesday 2 January 2019

"A Rather Difficult Week"

Letter from Captain William 'Windy' West to Admiral 'Tufty' Thessinger, 21 October 1941

Dear Tufty,

Hope this finds you well, old chap, and that Mavis is keeping you fed. The official report will follow in the next bag, but I just wanted to let you know we've had rather a difficult week down here on the coast. Jerry has been frightfully uppity and, sad to say, our chaps have not really made the best showing of themselves. You'll be getting our requisitions for new boats and whatnot through the usual channels but I wanted you to know what had happened.


On Tuesday, two of our chaps (Roger and Lofty Harris) were coming back from a patrol when then ran into an E-Boat just off Maiden's Point. There was some exchange of fire and Lofty got the worst of it before everyone went on their way. Obviously I gave our chaps a damned good talking to as they should have sunk the blighter. Had I known how the rest of the week was going to go I should have likely given them a medal as at least they didn't have to swim home.


Your intelligence officer (I've totally forgotten his name, wee man with glasses and the look of a feral weasel) told us that a tanker would be vulnerable so I dispatched 'Blackbeard' Barnes and Fingers along with Lofty to have a crack at it. Now lord knows, Tufty, I'm not one to complain, but I do think your weaselly chap could have let us know that the tanker had a damned big gun on it. As it was, Lofty and Fingers all got sunk. The tanker went on its merry way.


Barnes had managed to limp most of the way home but his engine finally gave up the ghost somewhere around Torquay. He sent an SOS so I sent out a rescue boat (captained by McGee) and another three Vospers ('Shagger' Troughton, Arkwright and Shorthouse) to try and bring his lads home. As best as I can establish, Jerry picked up the SOS as well and decided to bag themselves Barnes and his boat with three of those damned e-Boats. Shorthouse struck his colours in pretty short order after his hull was turned into something like Emmental. Shagger tried to flank Jerry but sank under sustained fire and Arkwright went down in much the same way after his ammunition cooked off and the boat caught fire.

McGee managed to get alongside Barnes but then the bloody Hun - and pardon my french but they really are a bunch of bastards, Tufty - opened fire on the rescue ship. At this point Barnes managed to get his 20mm to bear and fired back. Well, Jerry unleashed everything he had sinking both the rescue ship and Barnes' stricken vessel. And then - and I can hardly believe I'm writing this - the beastly germans opened fore on Shorthouse whose surrender they had already accepted.

It's just not cricket, Tufty. Anyhow, we'll be sending in a request in respect of 6 new Vospers tomorrow.

Here's hoping next week is better.



Telegram from Kapitan Fritz Leiber to Kreigmarine HQ

Die Briten sind Müll.


We had our first game of Cruel Seas and played the first three scenarios. As you can see from the AAR above, it did not go well for Blighty. Although a large part of it did come down to my legendarily bad dice rolling I think it's definitely true that the Vospers were a little undergunned in comparison to the German Schnellboots. 

This was a fabulously fun game, and definitely one I will be playing more of - even if it did lead my good friend playing the Germans to commit an actual, bona fide War Crime - and what's worse, he didn't even care. Bloody rugby players. 

This is man who just shat all over the Articles of War.
As a final aside, anyone wondering why one of my Captains was called Shagger Troughton may be interested to know that Patrick Troughton, the Second Doctor in Doctor Who, captained MTBs from 1941 to 1945; he was decorated and mentioned in dispatches for sinking an eBoat by ramming it with his vosper which was on fire. All while wearing a tea cosy on his head to ward off the chill.

The 'Shagger' bit? Well.... he had an active social life. And died how he lived. 


  1. Now that looks like seriously good fun and a great read too.

    1. It really is, Michael. I've not enjoyed a wargame that much in years. Very smooth and has the right feel for a fast naval game.

  2. Germans committing war crimes in ww2?!? Totally ruining my immersion in the game! Gah!